Week 6: Back to the basics...humility!!

Well as you can see, I have decided to post on a weekly basis instead of a daily basis from this point on.  Since starting this blog, I have enjoyed the time each day I have had to reflect on the day and look at the lessons I have learned and the things that I can work on to become a better person.


I am finding though, that I want more time to really focus on and put to practice more these little life lessons.  I have decided to give myself a whole week to work on a specific "life lesson moment", or "attribute" so that I may truly internalize it and make it more a part of me.  Because for me, that is the whole point of this journey.  Not to just write about a bunch of experiences, or favorite quotes every day, but to become a better person through putting to practice what I have learned.


So, my goal is to really focus that week on whatever thought, or life lesson, or attribute I was touched by and to truly study about it that week.  To think about it continually as I go about my daily life and to internalize it, so that maybe, it will start to become a part of me!!


With that in mind, this week I want to go back to that great word, humility!  I was really struck with what I learned on day 9 of my journey.  I truly believe that humility is one of the most important attributes we must internalize.


On the LDS.org website, humility is defined as:
"To be humble is to recognize gratefully our dependence on the Lord—to understand that we have constant need for His support. Humility is an acknowledgment that our talents and abilities are gifts from God. It is not a sign of weakness, timidity, or fear; it is an indication that we know where our true strength lies. We can be both humble and fearless. We can be both humble and courageous."


I love that it says we can be both humble and fearless; humble and courageous!  I think sometimes it takes courage to be humble.  If I were more humble, I know many of the daily heartaches and contention I experience would melt away.  I pray for more humility.  I look forward to the new week I have to study about and put into practice more humility in my life.  I know as I do so, more happiness will fill my soul.


This week's challenge: be humble in all things!

Day 30: Forgiveness

I learned a magical lesson on forgiveness.  My husband is one incredible example of one who constantly forgives others.  If I could only be half the person he is, I would be pretty great.  This year, as I am trying every day to become more like my Savior, I realize I need to be more forgiving, not only to others, but to myself included.  As we become more forgiving, our love and the joy of life increases.

Tomorrow's challenge:  don't forget to forgive!!  

Day 29: Attitude

Tonight our family watched, "Remember the Titans."  Great show!  One point in the movie the team captain comments to one of the other football players about his attitude, that " it was the worst attitude he had have ever seen".  The football player then comments back to the team captain, "Attitude reflects leadership, Captain."

That statement hit me.  I sat back and thought about it.  How many times have I gotten on my kids for doing, or saying something that reflected a bad attitude, but then thinking back, realized I had expressed ,at a previous time, the same bad attitude they did.  They were just following my example.

I was reminded today that I need to be ever mindful of the attitude and example I am setting for my kids every day.  I must set a good example of positive attitude first!

Tomorrow's challenge: have a positive attitude and example  

Day 28: The priceless gift of motherhood

Still sick today, so don't have a lot of energy to post, but I have done a lot of thinking.  I have learned today that motherhood is priceless.  Although it is the hardest job, by far, and there are days I wonder if I will make it, there are "moments of magic" through out the day that make every bit of the sacrifice worth it.

I learned today, that I was sent on this earth to be a mother and that motherhood is a privilege and a blessing.    Trials come, it is hard, but the intermittent moments of joy and love that come from this sacred calling outweigh it all.

Tomorrow's challenge:  enjoy the daily "moments of magic" 

Day 27: Grateful for the small things

I am sick today and feel like I can barely think, but as I look back today on what I have learned, it is to be grateful for the small things.  I am grateful for a soft bed to rest my body tonight.  It also has made me grateful for when I am of full health!!

Tomorrow's challenge:  1- get better and 2- treat my family with kindness even though I don't feel well!

Day 26: Criticizing will get ya nowhere!!

I am reading a great book.  It is "Behind Every Good Man" by John Bytheway.  Today I was reading about criticizm and how toxic it is.  He qoutes Dr. John L. Lund:

"The objective of those who give criticism is to change the one being criticized.  Often the critic is hopeful of a change of heart or an improved behavior.  Criticism is extremely toxic to the human spirit.  It is more likely to kill the deisre for change than it is to inspire it."


As my goal this year is to become a better wife and mother, I have thought back recently concerning my interactions with my husband and kids and noticed how much I actually criticize my husband and kids without realizing it.

John Bytheway gives some examples of ways we criticize without realizing we are doing it.  For example:

Correcting what he said:  "It was last Wednesday, not Thursday."


Questioning his judgement:  "Are you going to cook those eggs one at a time?"


Making unrealistic demands of his time and energy:  "After you rotate the tires and paint the shed, I want  you to listen to how my day was."


Or, 


Valuing others' needs over his:  Saying to a friend, "Oh, he's not too tired to come and pick you up and then take you back home after we have a nice visit."

Something to think about!!  I am definitely being more critical on a daily basis than I realize.

John Bytheway also gave this great example.  He said of himself, "When I'm tempted to think of things I wish my wife would do, I simply think of all the things I should be doing, and I'm suddenly very forgiving.  The critical spirit leaves, a spirit of humility returns, and my focus turns more inward."


There is that humility word again!  I love that example and I am going to try to follow it.

Tomorrow's challenge:  think before I speak!

Day 25: Today is a gift!!

"Today is a gift, that is why it is called the present!"


Tomorrow's challenge:  live in the moment and enjoy the gift of today!  

Day 24: Have fun

Just finished one of my favorite nights of the year; hosting my Couples Valentine's Progressive Dinner.  It was a fun night filled with building new friendships, great food, and lots of laughter.  I think too often people, including myself, get so caught up in all the "to do" things we have on our daily list that we forget to just stop and have fun once in awhile.  Today was a day for me to stop and just have fun enjoying the moment!

Tomorrow's challenge: have fun  

Day 23: No room for offense!!

I am being more honest than I want to be in my post today, but I learned a valuable lesson this week.  Boy, I wish I were perfect, but the truth of the matter is, I'm human, so I must forgive myself, change, and become better.  

My wise sister, whom I just love to pieces, gave me some advice right before I got married.  My sweet grandpa gave her this same advice.  She said, "never give or take offense".  Oh the wisdom in those words.  My sister has truly taken those words to heart.  I can honestly say, I have never see or heard my sister give or take offense.  She is one of the most loving, forgiving, and caring person I know.  I want to be like my sister and not give or take offense.  It just does no good to do so.    

I am learning that I am an overly sensitive person and that I often take offense.  Not the greatest of habits!  Earlier in the week I took offense from my husband, on Valentine's Day of all days, and have held a grudge until today. Let me tell you, it made for a lousy week.  After much humbling today, I asked for amends and some forgiveness.  I feel a million times lighter and was a better wife and mother without that grudge weighing me down.

I know that if I am to become who Heavenly Father needs me to be, then my life must have no room for giving or taking offense.  I am better than that!  I must choose to never give or take offense.  I make a promise to myself that from this day forward I will do so!  

My life challenge:  to forgive always!

Day 22: His strength

I can do hard things with the strength of the Lord!

Tomorrow's challenge: seek for His strength 

Day 21: The power of a smile

Today I was reminded about the power of a simple smile.  It has been one of those days.  I have been feeling pretty down and out.  Nothing has seemed to be going right.  The day started out rocky with the kids this morning and it just kind of went from there.

Well, this afternoon I went to pick up my son from school, still feeling down when my son jumped into the car with a big smile on his face.  He said, "Hi Mom!"  That simple smile and cheerful greeting immediately made me feel better!  It doesn't take much to brighten someones day.

Tomorrow's challenge:  smile big

Day 20: Self reflection

Today I am "simplifying" my life by writing a simple quote for my post to allow me time to relax in a hot bath.  I have had a very busy and productive day and now need a little "rest and relaxation" time.

My post today is a reminder of a quote that I use to read daily.  I need to start re-reading it again to remind me what my daily focus should be on.  I am not sure who the author is, but the quote is:

"My worth as a person is not determined by what I accomplish each day, but by the type of person I was that day!"


Can I hold my head up high as I think of the person I was today?  Something to ponder about.

Tomorrow's challenge: shine for good

Day 19: Love is in the air!!!

Happy Valentine's Day!!  Valentine's day, next to Christmas, is my favorite holiday!  What a great thing to focus on and celebrate; LOVE!

One of my favorite quotes comes from an unknown author:
"The love of a family is life's greatest blessing"

That is truly what life is all about - the family.  Nothing else in the world is as important as the family.  On this special day take the time to tell your family how much you love them.

Today and tomorrow's challenge:  tell your family you love them

Day 18: Lose yourself in service

It is Valentine's Eve and what a fun day it has been.  I took my own advise today. First of all, I started my day off with a couple cups of water and then drank throughout the day and I have to say, I have had more energy.  Who knows, there may be some truth to the dehydration theory.  Second, I tried to simplify some aspects of my day and focus on my family and it truly has made for a fun day.

I have spent the day in the act of service for my family and friends as I have prepared for Valentine's day.  As I have taken the focus off myself and onto others, I have felt happier and so much joy!

I think of a quote by Mohandas Gandhi:
"The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others"  


What powerful and true words!

As tomorrow is Valentine's Day, may we share our love as we serve those around us.

Tomorrow's challenge: selflessly serve
   

Day 17: Simplify

I had the opportunity to attend a world wide training for my church this morning.  I had the privilege to listen and learn from leaders and apostles from my church.  It was an absolute treat.

I took away many great words of wisdom this morning, but one specific thought struck me.  It was the combined idea of simplifying, easing the burden, focusing on those things that matter most - family.  I have been thinking about this topic all day, reflecting on my own life and playing a little "checks and balance" in my own mind.  Are there ways to simplify parts of my life?  Am I creating unnecessary burdens in my own life by being too busy?  Am I so busy doing things that really don't matter that I am unable to focus on what really matters, the family?

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin said,
"Sometimes we feel that the busier we are, the more important we are - as though busyness defines our worth...We can spend a lifetime whirling about at a feverish pace, checking off list after list of things that in the end really don't matter.  That we do a lot may not be so important.  That we focus the energy of our minds, our hearts, and our souls on those things of eternal significance - that is essential."

Tomorrow's challenge:  make an effort to consciously simplify one aspect of my day to make time for family

Day 16: water, water, water = energy (or so we will see)

Every day during the afternoon I find myself soooooooo tired.  You would think it was midnight.  I am so tired it is hard to do anything.  I just want to close my eyes and take a nap.  Sometimes I give in and take a snooze!  It is frustrating to me because at a time during the day when I can be most productive due to kids napping, I find myself wasting away time due to the fact that I am exhausted and can't focus on what I am trying to accomplish.

This afternoon when I was feeling tired I decided to research online reasons for afternoon fatigue.  I found an article that sparked my interest.  It was titled, "Another Reason for Felling Tired - Dehydration".  I had not thought before that maybe my afternoon slum was due to being dehydrated.  It is probably very true as I know I don't drink enough water each day.  I have to pretty much force it down.  I would rather have a big glass of milk or juice.  This article really made me think.    

Here is an exert from the article I found:

Another Reason for Feeling Tired - Dehydration

by Catherine Pratt 

www.Life-With-Confidence.com 

"I discovered that most of us are chronically dehydrated and don't even know it. Some of the symptoms of dehydration are: brain fog, fatigue, and exhaustion. Sound familiar? They were all things I could definitely relate to.

I thought I did drink a lot of water but reading through his report, I realized it wasn't as much as I thought.

In the course, it suggests to drink “a bottle” of water as soon as you get up in the morning. Drinking water as soon as I got up wasn't something I'd tried before. I was more of a “throughout the day, whenever I remembered” kind of water drinker.

I thought it was worth a try though. If it didn't work, I hadn't lost anything and if it did work, it'd be such an easy solution to feeling tired.

So, now I drink 2 glasses of water as soon as I wake up and then another 2 during breakfast. After that, I drink another two glasses whenever I have a meal and also at different times throughout the day. So, all in all, I think I end up drinking around 10 or 12 glasses per day.

It's a minor change to what I was doing before but the amazing thing is that it has really made a difference for me. I used to struggle to wake up in the morning and also just to stay awake. About 2 or 3 in the afternoon used to be the worst time for me. I would get just so sleepy that all I would want to do is lie down and go to sleep. Since, I've increased my water consumption, I don't have that anymore. I feel much more alert and awake now.

I must say, I'm pretty impressed what a difference a simple change like drinking more water can make."

Did you know there is a formula for how much water you should drink in a day?  I didn't.  Here it is:

Take your weight in pounds and divide it by 2.
Take the result and divide this by 8 (for 8 ounces of water)
This number is the approximate number of 8 oz glasses of water you should be drinking daily.

So there you go.  Who knew?  I am going to give it a try and see if I can curb this afternoon tired spell!

Tomorrow's challenge: start the day off with a couple big glasses of water!

Day 15: I don't know everything, but I know enough!

Lately, as a mother, I feel like I just don't know how to do this parenting thing.  I feel like I am making all of the wrong decisions.  I sometimes feel like a chicken with it's head cut off not knowing what direction to go and how to approach each of my children's needs the correct way.  I often find myself getting down on myself.

Well, today I was given this great quote at my scripture study group that gave me a feeling of peace.  It is by Elder Neil A. Anderson:

"There are...days when we feel inadequate and unprepared, when doubt and confusion enter our spirits, when we have difficulty finding our spiritual footing...remain steady and patient as we progress through mortality.  At times, the Lord's answer will be, "You don't know everything, but you know enough"

It is at those times I need to dig deep and remember what I do know and rely on the spirit to guide me.  

My friend told me that the only thing you need to do to be a great mother it is to always listen to the Spirit.  Boy, isn't that true.  I don't know everything, but I know enough and if I just always listen to the Spirit and follow it's guidance, I can't go wrong!

Tomorrow's challenge:  listen for the Spirit

Day 14: I am grateful for...

Today I am grateful for:

1-a warm bed
2-a day with very minimal fighting from my kids
3-my kids that all helped out, served each other, and did all of their jobs and practicing without a fight - WOW!!
4-the afternoon nap I got
5-the most darling baby in the world that made me smile many times today
6-for the moment I got to rock my baby before bed
7-a husband that greeted me from work with a kiss and a hug
8-the time alone I got to spend with my 7 year old making his school valentine's
9-the reminder to live and see life as a child does, with excitement, and to not waste energy on things that really don't matter
10-the Holy Ghost that touched my heart many times today

Tomorrow's Challenge: touch someone's life for the better

Day 13: Divine Gift of Gratitude

I had a great day.  Everything just seemed to fall into place.  I know it is because one, I tried to look at everything with a positive attitude and two, I started my day off doing the the right things.  My day began with personal scripture study then off to family scripture study and then finished off the morning with listening to General Conference while running on the treadmill.  

I record conference and then, over the next 6 months, watch it over and over from beginning to end while I exercise.  Today I was on the prophet, President Monson's talk on gratitude.  I was once again reminded of how important it is to have a grateful heart.

Here are a few quotes President Monson states in his talk:  

"My brothers and sisters, do we remember to give thanks for the blessings we receive?  Sincerely giving thanks not only helps us recognize our blessings, but it also unlocks the doors of heaven and helps us feel God's Love."

"We can lift ourselves and others as well when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts and attitude of gratitude.  If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues.  Someone has said that "gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues, but the parent of all others."


"My brothers and sisters, to express gratitude is gracious and honorable, to enact gratitude is generous and noble, but to live with gratitude ever in our hearts is to touch heaven."


Tomorrow's challenge: write down 10 things I am grateful for

Day 12: Try again

I hate to say it, but this cup half full thing has been quite a challenge today.  My spirited child wanted to test his mother all day to see if I could really see everything in a positive light.  I have been trying to find a way to summarize my feelings about today in a positive light.  This is my cup half full view of today; I am grateful I had a Heavenly Father I could turn to today during the moments I thought I couldn't go on; I am grateful for the strength and patience I received during those moments of prayer;  I am grateful my family was able to end the night on a positive note and have family home evening together.

Tomorrow's challenge: stay positive  

Day 11: Cup Half Full

I have decided a goal, or good habit that I want to start working on daily is seeing the cup half full.  We are all familiar with the saying, "seeing the cup half full".  If a cup were sitting on the counter filled half way with water, one could either see the cup as half empty or half full.

8 1/2 years ago we lived across from the best neighbor.  Our kids knew her as Ms. Julie.  In the two years we lived by Ms. Julie, we noticed that she always, I mean always, had a smile on her face.  No matter what situation she was facing in her life, she always faced it with a smile.  I asked her how she was able to always be happy.  She told me that life had not always been easy for her.  She had been through a lot of difficult experiences.  She use to always complain.  One day she realized how much she complained about things.  It was that moment that she made a conscience decision to never complain again and to always see the good in everything.  This one decision made all the difference in her life.  

In our two years of living by Ms. Julie, I never saw anything but a smile on her face, never heard her complain about any situation, or say an unkind word about anyone.  I always felt good about myself and life when I was around Ms. Julie.  She was a true example of one who continually saw the cup half full.

I grew to love Ms. Julie very much and always looked forward to seeing her.  I am so thankful for Ms. Julie's example in my life.


Tomorrow's challenge:  see the day as a cup half full        

Day 10: Words of wisdom

Today's post is just some good old words of wisdom:

7 times:  If you want to retain or remember something, you need to live it or teach it 7 times!

21 days in a row:  If you want to change a habit, do it 21 days in a row and you will create a new habit!

Tomorrow's challenge:  start day 1 of a good, new habit

Day 9: The magic of humility

So I took my own advice and put into practice my post yesterday.  I had such great insights in my scripture study during the wee hours of the morning today.  My study took me to a word that I really haven't valued in the past as much as I should have.  I have always studied much about and tried to emulate, "faith, hope and charity", but have never truly studied in depth the word humility.  After today, I have a whole new outlook on the word humility and the importance of being a humble person.

In Mormon Doctrine, Bruce R. McConkie states:  "All progress in spiritual things is conditioned upon the prior attainment of humility.  We are commanded to be humble.  Humility must accompany repentance to qualify a person for baptism; it is required of all engaged in gospel service; is an essential attribute  for all who embark in the service of God; precedes the acquiring of wisdom from the Spirit; is needed to qualify the righteous to see God and without it no one can gain entrance to the kingdom of God hereafter."  WOW!!  I never knew the importance of humility.

In Mosiah 4:11, King Benjamin teaches:  "I would that ye should remember, and always retain in remembrance, the greatness of God and your own nothingness, and his goodness and long-suffering towards you, unworthy creatures, and humble yourselves even in the depths of humility, calling on the name of the Lord daily, and standing steadfastly in the faith of that which is to come, which was spoken by the mouth of the angel.

Then he states the blessing of doing the above:

"And behold, I say unto you that if ye do this ye shall always rejoice, and be filled with the love of God and always retain a remission of your sins; and ye shall grow in the knowledge of the glory of him that created you, or in the knowledge of that which is just and true."  Mosiah 4:12


I want those blessings!!  As I strive to be the best wife, mother, daughter, sister, friend and neighbor, I have come to realize that I must be a woman of humility.  Without humility, I will not succeed!

Tomorrow's challenge:  begin my journey to deep humility

Day 8: Making scripture study more edifying and effective

I read a great talk by Elder Bednar suggesting 5 principles that will help make scripture study more edifying and effective.  He states:

1- Pray for understanding and invite the help of the Holy Ghost
"The things of the Spirit can be learned only by and through the influence of the Spirit.  Each time we begin a session of sincere scripture study, an earnest and humble prayer in which we petition our Heavenly Father in the name of his Son for the assistance of the Holy Ghost will greatly improve our learning, understanding, and recall."

2- Work!
"Gospel knowledge and understanding come through diligent study of the scriptures and tutoring by the Holy Ghost.  The combination that opens the vault door to hidden scriptural treasures includes a great deal of work-simple, old-fashioned, hard work."

3- Be consistent
"Given the hectic pace of our lives, good intentions and simply "hoping" to find the time for meaningful scripture study are not sufficient...specific and scheduled time set aside each day increase the effectiveness of our searching in and study of the scriptures."

4- Ponder
"Asking questions about and pondering the things we have studied in the scriptures invite inspiration and the assistance of the Holy Ghost."

5- Write down impressions, thoughts, and feelings
"Writing down what we learn, think, and feel as we study the scriptures is another form of pondering and a powerful invitation to the Holy Ghost for continuing instruction."  Bednar refers to a quote by Elder Richard G. Scott, "You will find that as you write down precious impressions, often more will come.  Also, the knowledge you gain will be available throughout your life."

Tomorrow's challenge:  apply the 5 principles to my scripture study

Day 7: Courage

“Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, "I will try again tomorrow."
  
I love this quote.  I don't know the author.  I will probably post it many a time because it's message tugs at my heart so strongly.  The word courage means so much to me.  Today has been one of those days where I take this quote to heart.  Sometimes we just need to say, "I will try again tomorrow."


Tomorrow's challenge: face the day with more courage  

Day 6: Ice day

Hurray for ice day!!  Today in our little part of the world we woke up to a sheet of ice covering the deck, sidewalk, driveway, roads, trees, you name it.  I would say it looked like a homemade ice-skating rink.  Businesses and schools were closed.  The kids didn't have to go to school and my husband didn't have to go to work.  We all started out the day in great spirits.

Well, it didn't take long into the morning for a change of mood as the kids started teasing each other, complaining about doing their daily chores, fighting me about getting their piano practicing done, this kid hitting that kid, kids running around chasing each other, and kids crying.  I began to rethink the joy I had at first about spending the day as a family.

Before I knew it, I was getting on this kid for this, and that kid for that, and was repeating the same lecturing advice over and over to each child.  I had let them get to me and I was so frustrated with the way they were behaving.  The morning had gone sour.  That peaceful, happy feeling we all woke up with was visibly gone.  Then my beat up cycle began, as the guilt overcame me and I started feeling like a failure in the way I had responded to my children that morning.  I thought, "How is it that I am 35 years old and I respond to my kids like I am 15 and don't know better???  Why is it I let myself get so upset over the things they do."

I needed my shower time (see previous post :) to digest all that had gone on.  As I sat in that hot shower, I reflected on what my kids had really done that morning and what I could have done differently.  After thinking about it, they really hadn't done anything terrible (they are kids), in fact, they were pretty obedient kids.  The thought came to me, that the morning had gone sour because of the way I responded to them, due to an unreal expectation, not specifically because of what they had done.  I was expecting them to act like responsible adults instead of growing kids.  And when that didn't happen, I got upset.  Boy, did I need to take a chill pill.

That I did.  I decided to remedy the day with some family time, eating popcorn, drinking hot chocolate and playing games.  It was a lot of fun.  It ended up being a great day.

I learned today that for me to be a better mother, I need to make sure I don't create, "unreal expectations" for my kids.  They are only kids and pretty darn good kids at that!

Tomorrow's challenge:  don't set unrealistic expectations