I am reading a great book. It is "Behind Every Good Man" by John Bytheway. Today I was reading about criticizm and how toxic it is. He qoutes Dr. John L. Lund:
"The objective of those who give criticism is to change the one being criticized. Often the critic is hopeful of a change of heart or an improved behavior. Criticism is extremely toxic to the human spirit. It is more likely to kill the deisre for change than it is to inspire it."
As my goal this year is to become a better wife and mother, I have thought back recently concerning my interactions with my husband and kids and noticed how much I actually criticize my husband and kids without realizing it.
John Bytheway gives some examples of ways we criticize without realizing we are doing it. For example:
Correcting what he said: "It was last Wednesday, not Thursday."
Questioning his judgement: "Are you going to cook those eggs one at a time?"
Making unrealistic demands of his time and energy: "After you rotate the tires and paint the shed, I want you to listen to how my day was."
Or,
Valuing others' needs over his: Saying to a friend, "Oh, he's not too tired to come and pick you up and then take you back home after we have a nice visit."
Something to think about!! I am definitely being more critical on a daily basis than I realize.
John Bytheway also gave this great example. He said of himself, "When I'm tempted to think of things I wish my wife would do, I simply think of all the things I should be doing, and I'm suddenly very forgiving. The critical spirit leaves, a spirit of humility returns, and my focus turns more inward."
There is that humility word again! I love that example and I am going to try to follow it.
Tomorrow's challenge: think before I speak!
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