Day 6: Ice day

Hurray for ice day!!  Today in our little part of the world we woke up to a sheet of ice covering the deck, sidewalk, driveway, roads, trees, you name it.  I would say it looked like a homemade ice-skating rink.  Businesses and schools were closed.  The kids didn't have to go to school and my husband didn't have to go to work.  We all started out the day in great spirits.

Well, it didn't take long into the morning for a change of mood as the kids started teasing each other, complaining about doing their daily chores, fighting me about getting their piano practicing done, this kid hitting that kid, kids running around chasing each other, and kids crying.  I began to rethink the joy I had at first about spending the day as a family.

Before I knew it, I was getting on this kid for this, and that kid for that, and was repeating the same lecturing advice over and over to each child.  I had let them get to me and I was so frustrated with the way they were behaving.  The morning had gone sour.  That peaceful, happy feeling we all woke up with was visibly gone.  Then my beat up cycle began, as the guilt overcame me and I started feeling like a failure in the way I had responded to my children that morning.  I thought, "How is it that I am 35 years old and I respond to my kids like I am 15 and don't know better???  Why is it I let myself get so upset over the things they do."

I needed my shower time (see previous post :) to digest all that had gone on.  As I sat in that hot shower, I reflected on what my kids had really done that morning and what I could have done differently.  After thinking about it, they really hadn't done anything terrible (they are kids), in fact, they were pretty obedient kids.  The thought came to me, that the morning had gone sour because of the way I responded to them, due to an unreal expectation, not specifically because of what they had done.  I was expecting them to act like responsible adults instead of growing kids.  And when that didn't happen, I got upset.  Boy, did I need to take a chill pill.

That I did.  I decided to remedy the day with some family time, eating popcorn, drinking hot chocolate and playing games.  It was a lot of fun.  It ended up being a great day.

I learned today that for me to be a better mother, I need to make sure I don't create, "unreal expectations" for my kids.  They are only kids and pretty darn good kids at that!

Tomorrow's challenge:  don't set unrealistic expectations